Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
