Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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