OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize