in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
