Do vagina's smell?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
