he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
