i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
