Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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