I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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