i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
