This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize