I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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