I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Randomize
