She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
