This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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