Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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