Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
dude i'm inner monologue high
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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