my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
please don't ironically join a cult
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