I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
