On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
