Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Terrible idea I love it
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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