I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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