Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
