Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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