took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
