dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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