i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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