you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize