david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize