I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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