She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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