Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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