and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
