I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We talked him into tasing himself.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
