why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
