Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
