I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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