it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
