I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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