So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
