im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
