I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
