Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
she looked like the before picture.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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