i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
