The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
then he tried to convert me to islam
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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