I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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