Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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