so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
