you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
