He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
