and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
