I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
