so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
You peed on a flamingo?!?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
