Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
