Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
well you can't waste a boner
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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