so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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