her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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