I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
